Growing UP

I guess it's all bound to happen sooner or later. Growing up, I mean. But can I tell you, there are so many things that I miss about the younger me.

I miss when sticking your tongue out at someone was the rudest thing you could do. I miss when "tartar sauce!!" was swearing.

And I want to grow up. I really do. I want to go away to college, and be me, start over completely, meet new people, make life-long friendships. I want to discover myself. I want to live my dream (living in London making my living as a successful author).

But I also don't want to grow up. The world is a big, big, big place. I'm just one person. What can I do? How can I make my way through life and still stay whole?

I'll tell you how: I can't. I can't go out there and do what I want to do to become who I want to be and stay the same person. There's going to be heartache along that road; I'll probably discover who my true friends are at that point in my life, who decided to stay with me despite my insanity.

There's something that's been annoying me lately. I feel like I'm mature for my age, and you know what? In my own way, I think I am. But what's annoying me is that I am soft. Yes, I'm an old softy. But sometimes, it seems like a bad thing. A handicap, almost. I care too much. I have too much pity on people, and animals, and anything that's alive.

I think that war is a completely unnecessary thing in our world. Don't people realize that war brings death, and death brings sorrow? And how does throwing some people from our country against people from another country onto a battlefied with guns solve any problems?

It's because of this that I pray for the troops. They are some of the bravest people that are out there. They put their lives on the line every day to keep us safe and free.

But I am too compassionate. And I know that someday, this will be my downfall. It's my Achille's Heel, almost. I am going to care too much about someone that I shouldn't care about at all, and it's going to destroy me.

Why, you may ask, have I been thinking about this all so much? The other day, I rediscovered my Best of Disney CDs, all three volumes. They're from when I was four or five, and I'm amazed that I still have them. When I played the songs today, I still knew every word to every song. It reminded me of when I was really little, and none of this existed for me. Life was so much easier then. And I suppose it's only getting harder from here on, eh?

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Peace, love, and Red Vines.